Less Orphans - Part 1

You may have heard that November was National Adoption Month. That's kind of how this site was born. Clearly, the group of parents associated with this blog is pretty fond of adoption. However, adoption is just one of the many ways we can help orphans or even prevent children from becoming orphans. There are plenty of other things we can do to help orphans and prevent family crises that might create orphans in the first place.

In a three-post series, we will be discussing (1) international orphan prevention, (2) US orphan prevention, and (3) how to support orphans when you don’t feel led to adopt.

Today we will share some preventative measures we should take to help birth families in developing countries stay together, thus eliminating the need for orphanages.

Orphans in developing countries become orphans for a myriad of reasons. A birth mother dies in child labor, a father leaves the family without any source of income, an epidemic wipes out both parents, and a host of other problems threaten to tear parents from their children. It’s not enough to simply adopt a child from a country and think we have done all we can to help. Most children are orphaned as an outcome of some tragedy that could have been prevented.

Birth families are important. Barring instances of abuse and neglect, birth families are the first and best option for a child, so we must be doing what we can to keep them together. We must be supporting them where they are, in their current circumstances. The United States is fortunate to have an established foster care system that seeks to provide care for children when their parents are struggling in some way. (But the US foster system has its own set of struggles; more on this in post #2.) Unfortunately, most other countries do not have foster care systems. This means parents who are struggling have no means of saving and protecting their children while getting back on their feet.

Often, families in developing countries believe they must forgo their children to give them a better chance at life. When we began our adoption from DRC, we were shocked to find out that many children were brought into orphanages by their own families because they could not afford to feed and care for them. These parents sacrificially gave up their own children—and not just the babies—because they thought the children would have a better life in an orphanage, where they assume they’ll be well fed and cared for. This has been one of the biggest tragedies facing families in developing countries, and it is one that can be prevented.

For example, often the lack of access to water provides a barrier to thriving families. Parents must choose between working to earn money or standing in line for eight hours a day to get clean water for their families. Additional wells would help solve the problem, but there just aren’t enough financial resources for communities to build more.

Similarly, lack of access to medical care, contaminated drinking water, lack of nutritional food, lack of education, and poor business practices create devastating hardships for birth families. Many women even die in childbirth, leaving a father to make the heart-wrenching decision to abandon his children in hopes that someone else will provide for them because baby formula is usually more than the family's entire income.

Situations like this are all too common, but the origination of the problem often differs by community. One community might need a new well, whereas another community might need better roads. This sort of orphan prevention usually involves a multifaceted approach at several different levels, so it takes some inside knowledge to serve these communities well. Fortunately, there are several organizations that help with these types of situations. The “Support” tab above can lead you to some organizations doing great things to prevent family crises and children becoming orphans in DRC. Help One Now is another organization that seeks to get to the root of the problem in different communities where they work to keep families together. Compassion International is another great organization that allows you to donate money for families to buy livestock or other resources that will help them support their own families.

In addition to helping with preventative care, we can serve orphans by helping to create environments that will best set them up for the future. This means we can help provide food, shelter, care, medical supplies, medicine, and education to orphaned children so that they will be given a fighting chance at a great future, even if they are never adopted. (However, we should remember that a family would be the very best thing we could give them.)

Several organizations exist to put food in bellies, roofs over heads, medicine in hands, and knowledge in heads. A quick search could take you to an overwhelming list of organizations working to serve orphans where they are. Again, you can find some great organizations that serve DRC in the “Support” tab above. Financial donations are often the most impactful ways to help in these situations, as the power of your dollars can be amplified by the organization’s connections and knowledge.

Lastly, communities in developing countries need to learn to care for their own children who need families. I say this in humility, as I acknowledge the fact that our own country often does not do a great job of this. (Just look at the “waiting child” lists and crucially low numbers of foster families in the US.) That said, orphanages and group homes should always be at the very bottom of the list of options for children without parents who are capable and competent to provide for their children. Communities around the world need information and advocacy efforts that help them see and understand the importance of creating foster homes and adoptive homes for the children in their own communities. This is the most appealing, effective, efficient, and loving option for children who are at-risk of becoming orphans or living without the care of a family. Orphanages provide minimal food and minimal opportunities for education, bonding, mental stimulation, emotional stability and enrichment. A family, even if temporary, will always be better than an orphanage.

If any of the above prevention techniques has struck a cord with you, please don’t hesitate to do some more research and get involved in orphan prevention. We have some great organizations on our "Support" page that do just that. The only way to deal with the orphan crisis in a sustainable way is to take major strides in preventing their existence.

-JL